


A Quiet In-between

by AmethystBinx



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Emotional Hurt, Episode: s15e18 Despair, Gen, M/M, Missing Scene, One Shot, POV Dean Winchester
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-12
Updated: 2020-11-12
Packaged: 2021-03-09 19:34:48
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 331
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27531595
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AmethystBinx/pseuds/AmethystBinx
Summary: A short one-shot exploring what happened between the The Empty’s appearance and Sam’s call to Dean.
Relationships: Castiel/Dean Winchester
Kudos: 10





	A Quiet In-between

The inky sludge dissolves into the wall, absorbing Billie and Castiel into The Empty.

_Cas is gone._

The realisation hits Dean like an ice-cold waterfall. He’s still frozen to the spot where Cas had shoved him, his gaze flickering between the place where Cas had just been standing and the space on the wall where The Empty had pulled Cas into.

Cas’s words – his Final Goodbye - echo through Dean’s head.

_Cas is gone._

Dean takes a deep, shaky breath and tries to remain calm despite being anything but. The slight hum of the lights distracts him from the last few minutes’ events looping in his head.

_Sammy_ , he remembers.

Dean pulls his phone out of his pocket, ready to call Sam. But his eyes drift, fixing on the space Cas had been occupying just a short while ago. The loop starts again.

_“You changed me, Dean.”_

The hand holding the phone loosens its grip.

_You changed me too, Cas._

Dean loses track of time, not knowing or caring how long he has been sitting there for. He is lost to the world, stuck in the movie theatre of his mind. Watching and rewinding Cas’s words on an infinite loop. Wondering how he could have – how he should have – replied.

_“I love you.”_

Imagining what his replies could have - should have – been.

_I lov-_

**Bzzz. Bzzz.**

As if it had shocked him, Dean’s mind is jolted back to the reality of his body by the buzzing of the phone that he had long forgotten he is holding.

He glances down at his phone tiredly. It’s Sam. He stares at the screen for a moment before dropping it on the floor, leaving the call to reach voicemail as it buzzes insistently against the concrete.

_I love you, too._

Dean leans back against the wall, running his hands through his hair as the wave of emotions washes over him. The tears finally begin to flow and he sobs quietly, the loop starting once more.

**Author's Note:**

> So, thank you for reading! :)  
> This is the first fic that I have actually written out (I’ve had hundreds of ideas that have not come to fruition) and uploaded and I’m kind of proud.   
> I haven’t been able to stop thinking about this episode since I’ve seen it. I’ve rewatched it (and The Confession) probably too many times. Writing this was partly a way to deal with my emotions after the episode.  
> Anyways, I hope that you enjoyed this and have a nice [insert time of day here]!


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